I’ve moved!

February 9, 2010 at 2:28 am | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

It so happened that I showed my horoscope to a Bengali baba and he told me to immediately shift my weblog to a better location. So now I blog at jaldesai.tumblr.com. By the blessings of the baba, I can now post pictures, quotes, links and short posts very efficiently and frequently. So join me at – jaldesai.tumblr.com

Every child is not special

December 16, 2009 at 8:24 am | In Glance @ facts, Life like it is | 4 Comments
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Before you get all hyper emotional and start cursing me, let me tell you that if you are thinking to convince me to flip my thoughts about it, just give it up. I have been hearing this crap, like since ages – ‘Every child is special’. What the fuck that’s even supposed to mean? Let me tell you, it doesn’t mean anything beyond the conventional periphery of the thinking patterns of the masses. Just because some NGO or government or some film promotes it, I cannot subscribe to a thought that conflicts within me. I was urged to write this because the whole idea of children being special has turned out to be a hysteria for some.

First of all, I have no problems with children. I love them and looking forward to have them too. But my main concern is the way certain groups and NGOs have given the super-human status to children by making them, well, ‘special’. It would have been a fair deal if someone comes up with  a campaign ‘Every adult is special’. Ya, I know what you are thinking exactly right now-“What rubbish?” Well, think about it! If ‘every child is special’ why can’t ‘every adult’? And if that is not the case, then what’s the exact age boundary at which a person ceases to be ‘special’ and become ‘not special’? According to my perception, whenever one says ‘Every child is special’ they are actually referring to the very basic and extremely common traits of a human being viz. creativity, uniqueness, innocence, etc. Yes, on closer inspection, you will find that creativity and uniqueness ARE very common.

Speaking of human behaviour, everyone loves to be praised. Even a 1 year old kid. I say praise them. As much as you want. But don’t consider them special. Again, not to be confused with making someone ‘feel special’ (although I do have something to say on the whole thing about ‘feeling special’. But may be some other day). I think the word ‘special’ has been gang-raped to an extent that it has lost its essence. Coming back to the point, children are extremely susceptible to attention and it easily affects the way they turn out to be as adults. Treating them neutral is just fine. It won’t hurt them as much as finding out the truth about themselves once they grow up.

On a related note, a reality check: Kids from ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ are now having attitude problem, disobey teachers 

What you gotta say? Leave it in the box below.

My take on 2012 – the film

November 17, 2009 at 2:21 am | In Movie Reviews, Reviews | 1 Comment
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2012 Some of my friends and I finally went for 2012 and whoa I can say I loved it. Though I knew what was coming, the film was capable enough to give little surprises and distinct anxiety crests from time to time. The thing that I really appreciated in 2012 is the sense of criticality that lingered throughout the movie. I am a huge (read ‘huge’ thrice)  fan of disaster movies. It was back in 1995, with Independence Day, that I started admiring the works of Roland Emmerich (and also Michael Bay / Jerry Bruckheimer) and boy they never disappointed me. I am no film critic and will not try to become one. The reason I am writing about 2012 is because I need some outlet.

2012 was an epic movie. Though it was about a global cataclysm that everyone knows about, it takes a hell lot of brain-work to actually visualize the catastrophe which might occur. Anything and everything happens for a reason and not because it’s just predicted by some ancient civilization in their calendar. And this is what the film shows. A perfect blend of emotional, practical, political and logically sane events that occur around a sweet family of four (+100 for the really cute girl).  Adding to that, a gripping story and awesome cinematography. Being a VFX artist, I know what it takes to show just a crack in the ground and 2012 didn’t leave me unsatisfied at any point. Graphically intense scenes were everywhere. Around 95% of all the frames had breathtaking VFX.

2012

2012 was a unique movie which will seem a usual disaster movie if you don’t have a different perspective. It was not just about ‘the apocalypse’. It was about the anxiety, the aftermath, the political view, sheer selfishness, mankind’s basic instinct, the sense of being just a helpless creature and apparently, all about hope. It started with a scientific approach (solar flares disrupting the earth’s core which was first discovered by an Indian guy) and ended with a direct hint to the Biblical story of Noah’s Ark. Everything in-between was pure awesomeness!

Being a sarcastic bastard, I can’t resist giving 2012 a funnier perspective :D :

    • Windows will prevail even after the Apocalypse.
    • Indians will always be taken help from, but will be left alone in the end.
    • Chinese will be the modern day Noah. Start respecting chinese. coz they may save your drowning ass.
    • You may survive the disaster if you have written a book no one reads. (A blog with <100 visitors/day will do too)
    • Don’t underestimate beggars who say philosophical shit.
    • A black president will be the last American president.
    • Get settled in Cape Town, SA today, coz finally you’ll either end up there or be dead.
    • My fellow Indians, your prayers wont go unheard coz no Indian politician will ever make it thru the apocalypse.
    • Windows Vista will turn out to be the useful ‘khota sikka’ on the D-Day.

 

My rating: 8.5/10

Men rules…

September 19, 2009 at 9:08 pm | In Uncategorized | 4 Comments

The following are the golden rules of a MAN that every girl should pay heed to. They have been around since the universe began but they got lost in some fucking transition. I am just bringing them back to life.

This is the Man’s side of the story so it will be biased. Sorry, you have no choice.

1. Men will NOT read your mind.

Come on girls, accept it. We are really bad at this kind of shit.

2. Dont ever argue with us over that Toilet Seat.

You feel comfortable when it’s down. But we feel good when it’s up. Have you ever heard us complaining when you leave it down ??

3. Crying is blackmail. Period.

Don’t fucking get me started on this one.

4. Men NEVER understand HINTS.

Obvious hints don’t work! Strong hints don’t work! Silly hints don’t work. Just say the damn thing!

5. Absolutely no buttering is required when you need help from us.

It’s 21st century now..We already know your tactics.

6. Come to us only if you want genuine help.

We’ll always be ready to lend help. But that’s all you should expect. Nothing more.   

7. We are NOT SO GOOD at giving sympathy.

If you want true sympathy, we’d be happy if you approach your other girlfriends.

8. Anything we said 6 months ago is irrelevant NOW. 

You know what, all our comments become null and void after 7 Days. We do have a ‘Reset’ button.

9. If you think you’re fat, then you probably are.

Stop asking us.

10. If something we said has two meanings and you feel bad or sad by one of them, we meant the other.

11. Either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it to be done.

You can’t have both.

12. We had a hard time knowing that Magenta, Peach, Cyan are actually colors. Still, we have no idea a what Mauve is.

So next time don’t confuse us by arguing over the color of the wall you want.

13. If it itches, we will scratch.

We do that. Even in public. And we don’t find it disgusting.

14. If we ask you “What happened?” and you say “Nothing” then we WILL actually act as if nothing has happened.

See point no. 4.

15. When we go out, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.

You will always look the way we perceive you. Your dresses don’t matter. Talk about maturity!

16. “What are you thinking?” – Ask us this question only if you want to hear about cricket, gadgets and sex.

I am sure you know this fucked up, over used proverb: “Truth is always bitter”

17. You have enough clothes.

No we are not going for shopping this weekend.

18. Don’t tell us to be in ‘shape’.

For your information, ‘Round’ is a shape.

19. Thank you for reading this.

I know, I will have to sleep on the sofa tonight. But we least bother about it. We take it very lightly.

20. But after all this, we just love you girls a lot.

We normally spend 95% of the time of the day thinking about you. When we say you are the awesomest creation of God and that we can’t live without you…we mean it! 

Adios! :)

Wisdom is not everyone’s piece of cake

September 18, 2009 at 12:12 pm | In Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Lakotah tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in organizations such as government and business, other strategies are being tried, to wit:

1.) Buying a larger whip.
2.) Changing riders.
3.) Saying things like, "This is the way we have always ridden this horse."
4.) Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5.) Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6.) Creating a training session to improve riding skills.
7.) Passing a resolution stating the horse is not dead.
8.) Blaming the horse’s parents.
9.) Declaring that no horse is too dead to beat.
10.) Providing additional funding to increase the horse’s performance.
11.) Harnessing several dead horses together to increase performance.
12.) Conducting a study to see if private contractors can ride the dead horse cheaper.
13.) Issuing a press release stating that the horse is "better, faster and cheaper" dead.
14.) Forming a quality circle to find better uses for dead horses.
15.) Revising performance goals for dead horses.
16.) Insisting that this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
17.) Promoting the horse to a supervisory position.

(via WeeklyJokes.com)

Conversation between Me and a person trying to ‘share’ human death

September 6, 2009 at 4:30 am | In Life like it is, Touch of Technology | 7 Comments

Please read every bit of what is below and mind you this is not a debate. Comment if you wish, good or bad I don’t care. I am not saying to judge me right or wrong. This is the time to judge yourself and become a little more HUMAN.

Death has become a thing for entertainment now. World is going crazy day by day that humans have developed horrendous fetishes and have hold no bars for the ‘pervertness’ that’s ever increasing. As far as I know, music is entertaining, love is entertaining, romance is entertaining, making fun is entertaining, satire and criticism are entertaining, even watching porn is entertaining. Now the day has come when Death of a human being has become a source for getting entertainment and is a ‘sharing stuff’ between friends. I can’t stand the fact that how can a human being get so excited about a brutal and a very very saddening death of another human being that he actually records it on camera. If you think this is it.. No wait. There is more. The mind of a person is so much eroded that he actually puts this video online for the world to see. I am not sharing the video here because I can’t and I strongly condemn such act from the deepest corner of my heart.

An acquaintance of mine, very easily, shared a video of a person getting electrocuted by mind boggling 25,000 volts of a railway line and he attains death by brutal 3rd degree burns all over his body. Not surprisingly, the body goes stiff in a very irritating way and the video ends abruptly while people still in chaos. I have seen this video on Youtube before and have contacted Youtube to ban the video by providing my identity and showing a valid reason of Suicide of a seemingly mad man. And Youtube immediately took actions and banned the video within 2 hours. But as with all digital data, this video too has started making rounds on mobile phones, laptops and what not. Now this acquaintance of mine, shared this gruesome video by not clearly stating what is inside the video and thereby luring everyone to see. On a social networking site, it is very casual to see what others are sharing. Soon I discovered the cruel atrocity. So I had a brief conversation with him. Here it is:

(HE DELETED THE CONVERSATION BUT I HAVE THE COPY IN MY EMAIL. UNFORTUNATELY, I JUST HAVE HIS COMMENTS AS THEY WERE EMAILED TO ME. SO I WILL WRITE MY COMMENTS FROM THE CONVERSATION AS PER MY MEMORY)

[Acquaintance shares the video]

Me: U r so fucking sick man… A person is dying and you are promoting it here. Bloody pervert!

Him: Tera ghanta promoting ..chutiye [Hindi; vulgar slang for a person born from a woman’s vagina].. I have just shred it. [what he meant was ‘Shared it’]..! if u dont like 2 watch it dan simply live in ur own asshole….

Me: hehehe u r gross man… its fun to see how u defend urself… Hey ppl Meet Mr. <so and so> who likes to "share" with you a video of someone who DIES ON SCREEN… dont remove this comment <—-> if u think u have tht much shit up ur ass… I WILL FUCKING COMMENT BECAUSE THIS IS SOMETHING GROSS.. I REPORTED THIS VIDEO ON YOUTUBE AND THEY DELETED IT… DONT KNOW WHERE SICK GUYS LIKE YOU PUT IT ONLINE…. GET SOME LIFE AND GET SOME STANDARD DUDE. By the way what you call ‘Sharing’ is what a person WITH A SANE MIND WOULD CALL A ‘SUICIDAL VIDEO’.

Him: re dumb watch d video.. dats man not suiciding.. his is mentally unstable .. nd i fell [he meant ‘feel’] u r d same like him… whats happened with  u jal..y u thought u r only rght guy in dis world.. ! so use ur brain some where else.. dont try mess up with me..

[This comment indicates his discrimination towards mentally unstable people. So he argues that watching a mentally unstable person dying is kind of ‘Ok’. By the way Mr. Acquaintance, every person who commits suicide IS ALWAYS mentally unstable. Paradoxical, but true. ]

Him: nd get some treatment for ur over smart and most selfish brain.. asshole…!

Me: Hey ppl, this guy calls me mentally unstable because I am telling him not to share a video of a person dying on screen. hehe Now you be the judge ppl. I really pity you man… really pity!

[Then another friend steps in and puts his comment about the video]

Him (addressing to the friend):  su kare 6he.?? [Gujarati; What are you doing?] job par 6he.?? [Are you on job?] be aa chutiyo mgaj ni maa chode 6he.?? [Hey this son of a cunt is fucking the mother of my brain] loda na magaj ma evu 6he ke he is only rght person on this world.. [The dickhead thinks he only is the right person in this world] luk around jd , der r so many things around us which need to b changed 1st.. i shred [again, he meant ‘shared’] dat video to let knw d ppl dis could only happned here nd plus a chutiya like u who only knws to talk with gud gud english word in ur  own made virtual world…

—Then I stopped commenting on his lame ideas because it made me feel pathetic about myself to have gotten into a shameful conversation with him in the first place.—

I cursed myself but felt good on the other hand that atleast I revolted. Even though in a virtual space. I revolted for something good. I thought of a blog post on this not for making this public but for the very sole reason… for humanity. I am no social reformist, nor I want to be one. But I cannot subscribe to such crazy acts of anyone. Nor I can let anyone. I can surely do my part.

We all have accepted the ever increasing weirdness that’s going on in the world. Just 10 years ago, it was not common to hear news of a 5 yr old girl getting raped or boys committing suicides just because they got failed in their 10th grade. Now we are used to such news. In fact they are not news anymore!! Why people are losing their ability to think? Whatever happened to self dignity, self confidence, to stand in front of your elders with a feeling of pride and respect and acts of sheer courage that our dads and grandfathers lived with? Human mind have ingested within itself really gruesome fetishes that even an abhorrent death has become a “thing to share” with each other. Adding to this, it is such an irony to see a “Like” and “Become a fan” link beside such content. Internet and thereby the virtual world WILL penetrate our lives more and more. There is no turning back. That means what we are and what we present ourselves on Internet CANNOT be taken for granted and hence the identity you have on the internet is by no means lesser than the identity you have in the real world. This speaks for itself.

This conversation is not to offend anyone but to let the truth come out in a positive way. I can’t find a reason why a human being, a precious & highly advanced organic life form, born after 3 million years of progressively productive evolution can be so primitively pathetic to ‘enjoy’ death of someone of its own kind. Having said that, we all are humans and we should behave like one. Is it so hard?

A letter from a 23 yr old Jal to a 17 year old Jal

September 1, 2009 at 3:10 am | In Life like it is | 4 Comments

Recently I had a glance on some autobiographies that Dad brought (I dont know from where he brings such weird stuff) and felt the need to have a little introspection and that is how I thought why not write a letter to Jal who just got admission to an Engineering institute and the jackass is dancing like a whore, unaware of what is about to come. So here goes…

Dear 17 yr old Jal,

Hows you? Are you feeling great that you just got admission into ADIT? Well you might not be knowing this but you have made a right decision to take up an IT engineering programme. I know that sucky relative of ours told you not to, coz he felt he knew all about technology and that IT wont ever come up, believe me after 4 years, you will be doing ‘just fine’. Now the important part. I hope you have forgotten her and it was a nice relationship that you shared with her. I am glad to know that you have gained much strength after experiencing the traumatizing feeling of seeing her getting married to that fat-ass. Any way life will be more cooler for you so dont you worry. Try to love your brother and your parents (dad specially) because once you will come to Vidyanagar, you will miss them like anything. Dont be surprised if you feel like crying silently in the darkness in an unknown land. Do cry! You will not become a pussy if u cry! Try to not to be a smartass as you were in ur school. But I am sure my advice wont do any better.

Be ready to get stabbed badly on ur back by that girl who followed you till Vidyanagar. Although you believe her to be your friend, she will make everything so confusing and will mess up ur past and present so badly that you will start hating her to the point that it will erase any memories of friendship you ever shared with her.. Just dont think about it too much.. It will be useless for you anyway. And dont try to find any girl in your college life within the college premises. Although you have planned to flirt in your college life, you will be disappointed to see no one qualifying your criteria. Please be nice to your roomies and take care of them. They are nicer than you. So respect them. Soon you will have too many crushes within your college but they wont last more than 2 days so you will be safe.

Maintain a steady workflow. However, you will realise that none of your fucking plans are going as planned. Leave the tension and masturbate. But dont get addicted to it. I know your ‘tool’ has just discovered what’s masturbating but try to keep it twice a week and you will be fine. Dont mess up your bed sheet while doing so. Because there will be so many bastards who will make the whole lot of fuss out of that little white spot. Also dont drink too much tea. I know you love it like crazy but just keep it to the limit. Because boobs, tea and masturbation doesnt go well together. Trust me.

Contact mom regularly and do ask about her health and about your bro. She will definitely love it. I know I sound so fucked up right now but dont spend too much. Thats your dad’s hard earned money. You will know it when you will have a job for yourself. But do watch movies regularly with friends. It will be your only excuse to get out of the hell and get some entertainment.

By the way dont ever tolerate anybody’s shit. I should warn you that by doing so you may end up with no one in your hostel block talking to you for 1 complete week and you will feel like a loser but please for God’s sake dont give up. They will realise and soon everybody will hug you like crazy. In the process you will become such a careless brat that you will end up losing your damn phone. You will manage to get a new one which too will get you in trouble with your principal and your HOD. Do manage with these assholes with your witty common sense.

With a sad heart I must say that you wont learn anything ‘USEFUL’ in these 4 years of engineering. You will be imparted stale, dull and really fucked up so-called knowledge which will not help you in any way. I know it is a bold statement but what I gotta say, I gotta say. However, you will gain the utmost important knowledge of life, the true knowledge and a feeling of sensitivity, courage and upliftment of your spirits from your surroundings and your experiences in these 4 years. You will meet some really ass cracking friends who will share similar views with you, to the point that you may share similar dreams with similar characters. Love your friends and most importantly, respect their your own thoughts and theirs as well.

I know I know, you would like to know who will take the special position in your heart right? Well, she will descend upon you like an angel during your fourth semester and wont leave you ever. She is a beauty of a lifetime. Someone you always craved for. But I wont be ruining your excitement. You are going to discover her when you will be 20.

It became a rather long mail Jal but do keep in mind what I said and follow everything exactly as I said and you will be fine.

PS: By the way, do you remember that gold (plated ;) ) earring and necklace you bought (out of SRK-like craziness) in your 12th grade for your school love (which she returned you in a filmy style) ?? I am sorry to say this but you will misplace it in your hostel room and will never find it again.

Yours sincerely,

23 yr old Jal.

Entertainment is a need

August 28, 2009 at 12:50 am | In Life like it is | Leave a Comment

I have been working so much lately to the point of getting illness. I really felt that way when I read a news paper article about work-o-holics and how it can affect your health. Then I thought how many times have I been out with friends since a month and for how much time was I out. I could hardly remember anything. I even figured out that I, who watched every film that would hit the theaters during my engineering days, have hardly seen 3 movies in the last two years. Now for a boy of 23, this is kinda extreme don’t you think? I watched Race (2008) then The Dark Knight (2008) and then in 2009 I watched ‘Love Aaj Kal’. Ofcourse I am not counting the ones that I saw partially on TV.

This may be is the sole reason for my productivity to go down in the last 15 days. O God! I haven’t heard a song or two on my computer or mp3 player. This can get real troublesome people. If you feel something is wrong even when you are doing hard work then perhaps that ‘hard work’ is the cause. You need a break! I need a break too! Have some time off and meanwhile I watch a movie or two… Adios! :)

Blogging in India

August 23, 2009 at 4:48 pm | In Life like it is, Touch of Technology | Leave a Comment

Internet grew drastically in the last 15 years and with that began a never ending and systematic growth of the virtual world. Blogging was introduced 10 years back when only few people could understand the power of web 2.0 where a website viewer can participate and express his views regarding the website content. Blogger (now owned by Google), if I am not wrong, was a major platform for writing blogs. Although blogging was an instant hit in the developed countries where people from all ages, students to grandpas, doctors to lawyers, businessmen to homemakers, everyone clinged to blogging and thus it happened that Internet was flooded with blogs. Many new services offering a platform for blogging started. But then, at the same time, countries like India, didnt even knew such thing exists or if a few who’d know cared least about it.

Even in 2009, ten years after the blogging revolution, India still lacks a strong blogger base. May be people don’t know the power of blogging or they are absurd enough to write something on their own. I really wish to blame the education system for this. There is a deep connection between the two. In India, the education is so much job-oriented, so much stupidly methodical and vast, that a person hardly writes something on his own. He has no time to think about what he needs to think. Every scrap of ‘knowledge’ he is imparted has a monotonous tone to it. A weird dullness that creeps inside slowly. This takes away the ability to question things and to do things what he feels right.

In a party I attended recently, I met some of my school friends and told them about blogging and how its can prove to be vast resource of knowledge and how it stands on the very ancient principle of ‘share knowledge to gain it’. And one of my friend commented that ‘..it’s just a useless place where people speak about how they got fucked up working for the whole day..’ Sure people do share their sorrows but that’s not the point here. Trust me it’s not. When I gave the example of Amit Agarwal (the only professional full-time blogger in India) and how he changed the face of blogging in India, an immediate question was “That’s all good and fine, but what does he do for the living?” I mean is it necessary to do something else when you get a 6 figure income out of blogging itself? With sane enthusiasm, a little bit of creativity and a pinch of common sense anybody can really do wonders. I am not against jobs or working for an MNC. They are superbly well organised structures for making good earnings and also to gain knowledge and dignity. But is it necessary to make it the sole reason for your existence. I am sure not.

Even I discovered blogging in 2007 (which is pretty late) and have been writing my technology blog since then. And I know some cool friends of mine who can write but strangely they don’t. I have even seen those ‘1 post wonders’. People, with extreme enthusiasm, write their first post and then their enthusiasm goes away. And that single post lies there alone in the dark corners of the internet. (See the examples of 1 post wonders – blogs that died here).

I am happy to see that some Indian celebs (who, unlike in the US, are considered as ideals in India) like Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan, Gul panag, Shekhar Kapur and many more have started blogging and thereby getting closer to their viewers and also introducing them to blogging. Some celebs like Gul Panag, Priyanka Chopra, Karan Johar, Sonam Kapoor, etc, authors like Chetan Bhagat, social reformers and politicians like Mallika Sarabhai have started micro-blogging on Twitter. This tells something. We can’t ignore the virtual world and it is as much important to leave a mark and own a place on the Internet as it is in the real world. India is yet to witness a massive change in the mindset as far as embracing the web technologies is concerned. The faster we do it, the better.

Being cruel to blogs

July 12, 2009 at 7:55 pm | In Life like it is | 1 Comment
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Am very sorry to be away from my personal blog for quite a long time. It is bad and way more bad. I’ll try to be more frequent in posting on my personal blog (this one). Having said that, I have seen so many blogs with just 2 or 3 posts and then they are abandoned. I don’t know why people find it so hard to describe what’s in their minds and put them in words. Sometimes the real world tasks get so much on the head that one may get detached with the virtual world but let me tell those people that blogging gives a kind of relaxation and satisfaction. I have lived in a hostel away from home amidst unknown people. And during that time, I discovered blogging and what a great experience that was. Requesting all to let their hearts out and I promise myself to be more connected to my blog.

As of now, I have some cool photos to share. I clicked the randomness just for the random posts like these.

Some of these are macros, some shot near Tithal beach. Have a great time! Adios :)

 

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